Sapphires & Diamonds

"Do you do anything special on this day?" asked the therapist. "No, not really." I replied. I left thinking maybe I should. Oh I used to buy a Neil Diamond cd on his birthday or Father's Day. I would then pop it in and go for a drive, which was always nice because there was usually sunshine in June or September.

Unlike, today, October 5th, overcast, cool with a chance of rain, much like it was on October 11, 1998 at the funeral. I always thought that I would honor him in some way each year. Somewhere along the way, it became less of a priority...

It's time for that to end. Why not honor the first man in my life? The guy whose eyes sparkled like a pale sapphire when he was full of laughter. When I run into people who knew him, he is often remembered as very social and jovial. Yes, that was the public man. Imbibing. Conversing. Debating. Laughing. So, I have him to thank for my love of people and conversation.

He is also responsible for other reflections of blue in my life. On a bright, sunny day on the golf course, I can see his blue eyes in the sky. Yes, he is credited for my love of golf. He drug me kicking and screaming to it, but it didn't take long for me to love it. He was often my "divot" when holding my head down to watch the ball or strongly urging or encouraging me to be better at whatever sport I was doing. He wasn't into the fine arts side of my life. I doubt he ever if rarely made it to a play or concert. He was once concerned about my 7th or 8th grade English grade, but that was only because he was one year away from getting his English degree. So, with all that I would lump into the divot pile, he was simply shaping his diamond much like the coal in the trains he drove would do before they were unearthed.There were moments when his diamond would shine beyond his expectations, but over time, she has become scratched and worn.

Perhaps, that is simply a sign of a full life tossed into bag of treasures amongst the rubies, opals, garnets, emeralds, sapphires and other fine gems and maybe even a bit of grit at the bottom of that bag. Someday, his diamond will emerge again to be reset to shine and sparkle once again.

DYAO

So, we just caught the latest episode of Oxygen's Dance Your Ass Off. Maybe episode 8. I didn't want to set up an account with Oxygen to comment on the boards. I would like to say I agree with the user that loathed everything about Alicia, pronounced [Ah lees c ya]. She should have been off that show weeks ago, but somehow her lack of rhythm and dance moves keeps her in play. I say replace that divot of a dancer with anybody that left before she did! I hope when they get makeovers next week they camouflage the mole above her lip. In most cases, it would be considere a beauty mark, a flaw in a diamond, but when she whines and contorts her facial expressions during a dance performance, it does nothing for her. I think she may be one of those characters they keep on reality television just to keep the controversy up.

Connecting to Diamonds

Lately, I have been contemplating starting a blog to help me get unstuck from the divot hole I'm in. I used to think blogging was for the self centered folks out there who felt mighty proud of themselves. Their egos only encouraged them to get out here and write. Well, here I am and it has nothing to do with the above. I am doing this to return to the strong person that others see me as.

At my day job, I am considered the expert. I find this odd as all I know has been self taught for the most part. I am the stereo-typical Gen Xer, we tend to know a little about everything - "the Jack/Jill of all trades and Master of none"!The girls in my life see me as a strong and confident 40 something. The man in my life would like to see that person back. So, where did she go? She took a traditional day job after years of working non-traditional jobs with non-traditional hours; she learned to bend and compromise to the point it became unhealthy for her. She thought it would be no big deal to postpone the biggies in life - marriage and children.

In my search for the diamonds, it is only a given that I will keep on swinging and taking a divot or two. The thing about divots are they can happen when you drop a shoulder and the club strikes the ground something fierce before it gets to the ball to send it flying through the air only to jar your grip or shoulder in the aftermath; or they can happen when you have that perfect "pro" divot that is a result of the club striking the ball and the earth at precisely the right moment where the ball is sailing towards its destination and the divot flies forward as part of the plan!